I am just your average, run of the mill, super hero saving the world one lonely person at a time. My super power? Well, it's not your typical one. I don't leap tall cacti in a single bound, neither do I outrun speeding shopping carts. No, my ability is far more subtle, though many disagree.
By day I am the mild mannered struggling author. I am working hard to get my children's science book series, The Gumshoe Archives, into the mainstream public gaze. Feverishly plying my literary trade in hopes of somehow making this world a little more interesting and literate. However, when the need arises, or when the clock strikes 4:00 P.M. (whichever comes first) I cast off my mediocre trappings and dawn the guise of
Piper Bob, Man of Music!
I was born in a humble peasant village in the Northern part of Seattle Washington. Born the youngest son of Sir Reed Baker Jacob of the county of King, life was hard and often unyielding. Such was the furnace that forged my iron will, my grit, my savvy tenacity. Challenges came and opportunities were capitalized upon. Though not affluent, I found my education in the hallowed halls of the venerable S.J.S.U., or the San Jose State University to the layman.I excelled in all subjects, excluding any having to do with my assigned major, but I digress. Yes, though mocked and scorned, I persevered and attained a Baccalaureate from said institution and prepared to wage war in the world of men.
I was not always endowed with the super human abilities, which I now enjoy. No, indeed such powers came to me late in life, for as the wizard teaches:
"Only after treading the path of adversity can one achieve true inner manifestations".
I still haven't a clue what the crap he was talking about; I think it has to do with some sort of intestinal disorder but that is a tale for another day.Eventually, I reached the age of discernment. It came upon me quite by accident. I had just completed my fifth year as apprentice and heir apparent under the wise tutelage of the Wizard of Piping when the first stirrings began. It started as a simple burning in my diaphragm. Soon my whole being radiated with pain and a trembling I had never before experienced. I was lost as to what the explanation could be. Was it the triple burrito with Jalapeno sauce I had for lunch, or could it be something more?
Suffice it to say, I approached the time of quickening with unprepared hands. Looking back, I am amused at my naivety.
Ha, ha, (I chortle to myself). Oh the fanciful wiles of youth. When looking at the four headed Slonger beast they think not of it's powerful Forslanges, ha, ha... sorry, again I digress. I fear I have divulged more of my training than the great Wizard would have allowed. I must therefore move to the end of my tale, with no further embellishments as to my training, uh... sorry.
Now, I am merely known as Piper Bob. I wield the ancient weapon of the Highlands, yes the Great Pipe of Antiquity. I play with ease and right the wrongs of the masses. Long live the hearty ones, and long live the way of the drone. That's the end of my tale, I bid you a fond adieu.
